Getting What You Want Out Of Life

Most people go through life not knowing what they want and then they wonder why they are not getting to reach their desired goals.

Well as a starter, you’ve got to realize that if you really want to do something and you know what it is, you’ll always find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse. The moment I’ve found what I wanted to do in my life, everything else faded in its importance.

So now that you know about what you want to do, how do you go about it in order to achieve your wildest dreams?

1. Remove all self imposed limitations from your mind. As you know, each one of us has a self. That self is molded through our relationships. The earliest relationships are some of our most forming – parental, family, caregivers etc…. The term self is a paradox because self cannot exist without other. Humanity’s existence is therefore defined by relationships. Relationships are fragile. The slightest misstep can cause a hairline crack in the self. Left unattended, or perhaps exacerbated that crack can develop into a fissure. As children, our self is delicate and easily influenced. Experiences at home, on the playground or alone can form positive or negative impressions of our self. Within the parameters of self limitation, those experiences could be many. Having trouble making friends at daycare could cause a hairline crack in the self that is read back as “I’m not social, good at making friends or establishing relationships”. Future reinforcement of this self held belief can cause a fissure – that individual becomes overly introverted, withdrawn and the effort to actualize is ignored because the self limiting belief dominates our behavior. The hardest part is addressing and working through these realities as an adult. It’s easier to leave well enough alone than it is to work through self limiting beliefs.

2. Be focused & remind yourself every day of what you want to do. Think regularly on the successful completion of the task. Start the task as early as possible without postponing , take initiative. Discuss with your closed ones on the task you want to do . Take short breaks during doing the task will keep you fresh. Your brain adapts to, and then perpetuates, the habits to which it is constantly exposed. If that fact doesn’t work in your favor right now, you can change that. Most importantly stay the course.

3. Structure your time wisely. By scheduling your daily activities, you provide a motivation to be present and diligent for your responsibilities. Plus, this will discourage the huge, unhealthy blocks of surf time that arise when you don’t plan your time out ahead. You may also want to invest in a timer, or a program that acts like one, so you can monitor how much time you’re actually spending plugged in, and hold yourself accountable for it in the future. This tip also extends to structuring your sleep schedule. Learn to pull the plug, even when you don’t feel like you want to stop, and get your 6-8 hours a night. It does wonders for your self-control, self-image, and your presence in real life as opposed to inside your head.

4. Learn to tolerate, or even enjoy, putting time and effort into your work. Many Internet users in general, have been conditioned into believing that truly intelligent people don’t need to work hard at what they do. You may, presently, also believe that you are smart enough not to study. Don’t kid yourself anymore. That’s your brain talking, spoiled by lack of discipline and fattened up on trivia that it’ll never need to use, trying to sweet-talk you into not eating broccoli and having ice cream instead. You’ve got to be a tough-love person, and make sure you stick to your discipline at all times.

5. Incentivize your productivity. You are your own hero. Procrastinators have a problem with delaying gratification. Technology addicts, specifically, are driven to surf by the easy ‘accomplishment’ feeling. This is an easier way for your brain to create and savor small hits of dopamine than confronting real-life responsibilities -responsibilities that are harder, more time-consuming, and that give less obvious, more ambiguous rewards. You can combat this addiction by substituting it. Personally, I have imposed myself a discipline where every day that I accomplish a general task (putting together a deal, working out, writing a blog, reading, etc… ) I add a link on the chain I drew on my whiteboard, while missing a day erases the chain. The main thing about this mindset is that you need to invest in your personal development in terms that your tech-addicted brain is already familiar with.

6. You are not going to like the change in lifestyle. Accept it and power through it anyway. The emotions that an addict suffers through while quitting are sweet siren calls, seductively beseeching you to slam your ship into the rocks. Your brain is used to the habits. It likes the habits. It doesn’t want you to stop. It will present you with thoughts that tempt you to break your combo and forsake your willpower. You are not your habits. You are not your thoughts. They are the many drops of water in the ocean that you are sailing in. The waters may be stormy and fickle, and may, without the force of your will, push you into shipwreck after shipwreck. It may seem easier just to let your ship be tossed wherever the follies of your brain take it. But it is your duty to captain your ship, especially in harder waters, and wrest yourself back on course with gritted teeth and the knowledge that you are stronger than the storm. Get sleep, organize yourself, it’ll feel like shit but that’s a good sign.

Now that you know what it takes to get what you want out of life, share your thoughts.


Written by

Ziad K. Abdelnour, Wall Street financier, trader and author is President & CEO of Blackhawk Partners, Inc., a private family office that backs accomplished operating executives in growing their businesses both organically and through acquisitions and trades physical commodities – mostly oil derivatives – throughout the world.